Please bow your heads as we honor the passing of Marco Rubio’s chances of being president.

I kid, of course, but yeah… I mean he actually gave a decent, though bland and uninspired, speech, but that dry mouth and his desperate lip smacks before grabbing the water bottle… his handlers may be telling Rubio that it won’t overshadow his introduction to the national stage, but, um, yeah, it totally overshadowed his introduction to the national stage and when his name is mentioned for the next four years, this will always be brought up (and in eight years, he’s going to be bald, and that’s never good for one’s presidential ambitions).