I used to give Tim Pawlenty (T-Paw!) good odds of winning the GOP nod. He was the closest thing running to a generic Republican (and generic Republicans were polling far better against Obama than any actual, live Republican). He was so generic, in fact, that the only memorable thing about him was the Fisher-Price Baby’s First Mullet that he shaved off when he thought McCain might actually pick him instead of an Alaskan grifter.

How wrong was I?

Republican voters would clearly rather affix their hopes and Republican opinion makers their brief attention spans on a plastic Public grocery bag floating down the Hillsborough River than on Tim Pawlenty.

Let’s look at who they have rallied around instead of Pawlenty.

Chris Christie, the New Jersey governor famous for screaming at kindergarten teachers and video taping his tantrums in order to post them on Youtube.

Mitch Daniels, the short, boring, and balding architect of the Bush deficits.

Haley Barbour, a corpulent former lobbyists who sometimes likes to say that Jim Crow era racist organizations weren’t as bad as all that.

Paul Ryan, the man (and I use the term loosely – he looks like he won’t reach the age of consent for another two years) who single handedly torpedoed GOP poll numbers by releasing a plan designed alienate the only age group McCain actually won.

The current soup du jour is the recessionist from Texas, Rick Perry, who is also rumored to have the most firmly coiffed toupee in Austin.

Besides their gender and basic skin tone, the main things this motley crew has in common is that none of them are running for President and none of them are Tim Pawlenty.

Republican voters overwhelmingly despise the very core of Mitt Romney’s being and many suspect him of belonging to a cult (he doesn’t, by the way).

And Mitt Romney is kicking Pawlenty’s mulletted a–.

Herman Cain, whose claim to fame is getting 30% of the vote in a Senate primary and also being the CEO of a pizza chain no one cares about, is poised to overtake T-Paw in the polls.

Pawlenty looks like he’s going to be the Chris Dodd of Republican candidates. I have a great deal of respect for Senator Dodd and he’s a polite and accessible man in person, but his presidential campaign managed to be ignored and personally disastrous at the same time.

Sorry, Tim, but next November, instead of challenging Obama for the future direction of America, you will be taking calls on your rural Minnesota radio show and teaching classes at a correspondence college.