I’m just kidding, it’s going to be fricking hilarious. And no one will be laughing harder at his former pygmalion and consigliere than Charlie Crist. In the event that every one of George LeMieux’s opponents in the Republican primary is found out to be Manchurian candidate from the “atheist-Islamists” of Newt Gingrinch’s fevered imagination (imparted to reporters in what I can only assume was a drunk dialing incident), George will still be the victim of an old fashioned beat down by Bill Nelson.

In fact, let me go on the record as saying that if George LeMieux and Bill Nelson physically fought, the former astronaut would have Georgie boy on the ground crying for mommy/Charlie Crist to kiss his boo boos better.

Of course, Crist would tell his one time errand boy to suck it.

Because that’s his real problem. Because LeMieux would be a nobody without Crist. Because if Charlie Crist had never been born, LeMieux’s career ends with him losing a state house by double digits some twenty years ago. His website tries to paper over this fact, but it can’t he is little more than Crist’s “papier-mâché Mephistopheles” (as Joseph Conrad once described a character from Heart of Darkness).

LeMieux’s best hope is money, and it seems pretty clear that Mike “the Appeaser” Haridopolos will be the strongest fundraiser. And even if Haridopolos’ snowballing series of financial scandals, each one carrying that unsubtle whiff of the appearance of corruption, finally results in a public and ugly federal investigation or an indictment, well, I have little doubt that all of Haridopolos’ donors will (after some indiscreet urging by Florida House Speaker Dean Cannon) all scurry like frightened mice over to the waiting arms of former Florida House Majority Leader Adam Hasner.

So good luck, George. You’re going to need it, but it won’t be enough to save you.