In Conan the Barbarian, the governor of California famously, in response to the question, “what is best in life,” said, “To crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentation of their women.”

This is clearly true.

But I submit that we overlook the little things. For example, when drinking too much in a hipster bar, you may find that the bar’s ownership, instead of clearly labeling the restroom doors “men” and “women,” have instead opted to use some sort of cryptic pictogram that a drunk man is expected to properly interpret.

In that moment, as a man, what is best in life is to open one of the doors and see a urinal: the universal symbol that we have picked the right door.